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3rd Grade Virtual Learning Schedule: Week 3 Day 4 (Points in Case)

I am the Suburban Woman Who Ordered on the Starbucks App, and You are All Beneath Me! (Slackjaw)

You’re Invited to Rhonda’s Bereavement Party! (How Pants Work)

Advice for my Son on Becoming a Man (Slackjaw)

What to Watch for at Billy Beckham’s Long-Awaited Funeral Service (The Weekly Humorist)

2020

3rd Grade Virtual Learning Schedule: Week 3 Day 4 (Points in Case)

Evergreen Satire Headline Generator (The Weekly Humorist)

2019

Lines That Should Land Me a Job on “Bluff City Law”The Daily Memphian

I am the Suburban Woman Who Ordered on the Starbucks App, and You are All Beneath Me!Slackjaw

The Shocking Results of Our Most Recent Independent Studies (Sponsored by Coca-Cola)The Weekly Humorist

My Signed Book Collection (co-authored by Erik Sternberger) – The Weekly Humorist

A Guide to Determining Whether You Should Take Your Child to the Emergency RoomPoints in Case

Valentine’s Day Alternatives for SinglesSlackjaw

Please Review the GOP-Approved Activities for Alexandria Ocasio-CortezThe Weekly Humorist

10 Actors Who Became Famous for Roles that Don Knotts Turned DownRobot Butt

2018

Letters Smuggled Out From the Front Lines of Amazon’s Never-Ending Holiday Sale (co-authored by Erik Sternberger) – The Weekly Humorist

What to Watch for at Billy Beckham’s Long-Awaited Funeral ServiceThe Weekly Humorist

All the New Reasons Why Members of the Press Can be Banned from the White HouseRobot Butt

The 15 Best Nicknames in NFL History that Were Inspired by Sylvia PlathRobot Butt

In Memoriam: Those We’ve Lost to Make Paul Manafort’s BelongingsRobot Butt

Let’s Make This Go Viral: A Man with Dementia Writes a Touching Letter to His FamilyRobot Butt

Dispatches from a Memphis Snow BunkerThe Commercial Appeal

2017

Don’t Fret Holiday Chit-Chat; Just Find a NarcissistThe Commercial Appeal

What Your Favorite Celebrities Look Like Now (No Pictures)!How Pants Work

An Updated Look at Trump’s Leaked “To Oppose” ListRobot Butt

Advice for my Son on Becoming a ManSlackjaw

These 12 Words Will Seem Dirty When You Read Them from Now OnSlackjaw

With Everything That’s Happening Right Now, I’d Like to Announce I’m Selling Diet PillsRobot Butt

Is it OK if I Wear My Overalls to Bible Study?How Pants Work

An Op-Ed by Tony Romo: I Look Forward to the Many Injuries Awaiting Me as a BroadcasterSecond City Network

I’m a Real Marketing Person, and I Can Prove it With These Creative Names I’ve Given Everyday ItemsHow Pants Work

Quiz: Real Band or Just Letters? How Pants Work

The American Family Association’s Updated List of Unforgivable Disney OffensesSecond City Network

12 Country Songs Memorializing Made-up TragediesHow Pants Work

My Valentine’s Day Memory of a Forbidden LoveRobot Butt

You Guys are Doing a Great Job: An Open Letter from the Father, Son, and Holy SpiritHow Pants Work

You’re Invited to Rhonda’s Bereavement Party!How Pants Work

2016

A Rap/Hip-Hop Compilation Recorded for the Trump InaugurationRobot Butt

An Op-Ed by Parson Brown: The Constant Comparison to a Snowman is Really HurtfulSecond City Network

There are Plenty of Things We Can All Come Together to HateRobot Butt

How to Maintain Your Sanity for the Last Few Days of This ElectionSecond City Network (also in Redeye Chicago)

MFM: White Evangelicals Seeking New MessiahThe Establishment

When is it Appropriate to Respond with D-Generation X’s “Suck-It” Move?Robot Butt

10 More Claims Bill O’Reilly Has Made About SlavesRobot Butt