An Updated Look at Trump’s Leaked “To Oppose” List

This piece originally appeared on Robot Butt here: An Updated Look at Trump's Leaked "To Oppose" List 1. Democrats 2. Republicans 3. Politicians 4. The Swamp 5. POWs 6. Disabled people 7. John McCain specifically  8. Hispanics 9. African Americans 10. Any other brown people I forgot 11. Muslims 12. Refugees 13. Muslim refugees 14. … Continue reading An Updated Look at Trump’s Leaked “To Oppose” List

With Everything That’s Happening Right Now, I’d Like to Announce I’m Selling Diet Pills

This piece originally appeared on Robot Butt: With Everything That's Happening Right Now, I'd Like to Announce I'm Selling Diet Pills Hey Errybody! LOL! What’s up all my Facebook amigos? You doing good? You’re about to be doing better! I’m going to make this the best time of your life by offering you something that … Continue reading With Everything That’s Happening Right Now, I’d Like to Announce I’m Selling Diet Pills

12 Country Songs Memorializing Made-Up Tragedies

This piece originally appeared on How Pants Work here: 12 Country Songs Memorializing Made-Up Tragedies The Day the Corvettes Cried by Luke Bryan — the Bowling Green Massacre Hergin Flergin in the Bergin by Kelly Pickler (feat. the Swedish Chef) — the Swedish Terror Attack Burn It to the Ground by Toby Keith — the Existence of Chicago as a U.S. City One Less … Continue reading 12 Country Songs Memorializing Made-Up Tragedies

A Rap/Hip-Hop Compilation Recorded for the Trump Inauguration

This piece originally appeared on Robot Butt here: A Rap/Hip-Hop Compilation Recorded for the Trump Inauguration Through some deep sources within President-elect Donald Trump’s transition team, we have uncovered a track list of rap/hip-hop songs re-recorded (“All tremendously legal,” we were assured) for Trump’s upcoming inauguration in January: 1. “F*ck Tha Police Because You Appreciate … Continue reading A Rap/Hip-Hop Compilation Recorded for the Trump Inauguration

There are Plenty of Things We Can All Come Together to Hate

This piece originally appeared on Robot Butt here: There are Plenty of Things We Can All Come Together to Hate America is divided. The election is over, and people are fighting in the streets, at work, on social media, at home. Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and Barack Obama have all stepped forward to ask the American … Continue reading There are Plenty of Things We Can All Come Together to Hate

How to Maintain Your Sanity for the Last Few Days of This Election

This piece originally appeared on Second City Netowork and Redeye Chicago: Second City Network, Redeye Chicago It’s almost over, everyone. Stay safe—and sane— out there by following a few simple guidelines. Don’t make eye contact. If you look at the wrong person, he or she may bring up politics before you can stop it. Just don’t look … Continue reading How to Maintain Your Sanity for the Last Few Days of This Election