Humor Writer, Satirist
This piece originally appeared on Robot Butt here: 10 Actors Who Became Famous for Roles That Don Knotts Turned Down Roger Moore – James Bond, Live and Let Die (1973) John Travolta – Danny Zuko, Grease (1978) Alan Rickman – Hans Gruber, Die Hard (1988) Ralph Fiennes – Amon Göth, Schindler’s List (1993) Ewan McGregor – Mark Renton, Trainspotting (1996) Mark Wahlberg – Dirk Diggler, Boogie Nights (1997) … Continue reading 10 Actors Who Became Famous for Roles That Don Knotts Turned Down
This piece originally appeared on Robot Butt here: All the New Reasons Why Members of the Press Can be Banned from the White House Historically low approval ratings Using children’s insurance as a bargaining chip Using racism advantageously A cameo in Home Alone 2 Multiple bankruptcies Not draining the swamp at all Actually making the swamp … Continue reading All the New Reasons Why Members of the Press Can be Banned from the White House
This piece originally appeared on Robot Butt here:The 15 Best Nicknames in NFL History That Were Inspired by Sylvia Plath Dan “The Bell Jar” Schonhoff – Wide receiver, New York Giants Barry “Rabbit’s Cry” Anderson – Middle linebacker, New England Patriots Frank “Puny, Green, and Tart” Szydlowski – Punter, Cleveland Browns Louis “Oval Soul-Animals” Cramer – Cornerback, Pittsburgh Steelers … Continue reading The 15 Best Nicknames in NFL History That Were Inspired by Sylvia Plath
This piece originally appeared on Robot Butt here: In Memoriam: Those We've Lost to Make Paul Manafort's Belongings. Over the years, we have lost many great creatures to Paul Manafort’s desire for lavish clothing and other exotic belongings. Here, we remember those who are no longer with us: Tony (Python) – Jacket Al (Alligator) – Luggage … Continue reading In Memoriam: Those We’ve Lost to Make Paul Manafort’s Belongings
This piece originally appeared on Robot Butt here: Let's Make This Go Viral: A Man With Dementia Writes a Touching Letter to His Family As I sit here on my sofa near the end of a life that was full and good, reflecting, I can’t help but think of the twists and turns I have taken … Continue reading Let’s Make This Go Viral: A Man With Dementia Writes a Touching Letter to His Family
This piece originally appeared on Robot Butt here: An Updated Look at Trump's Leaked "To Oppose" List 1. Democrats 2. Republicans 3. Politicians 4. The Swamp 5. POWs 6. Disabled people 7. John McCain specifically 8. Hispanics 9. African Americans 10. Any other brown people I forgot 11. Muslims 12. Refugees 13. Muslim refugees 14. … Continue reading An Updated Look at Trump’s Leaked “To Oppose” List
This piece originally appeared on Robot Butt: With Everything That's Happening Right Now, I'd Like to Announce I'm Selling Diet Pills Hey Errybody! LOL! What’s up all my Facebook amigos? You doing good? You’re about to be doing better! I’m going to make this the best time of your life by offering you something that … Continue reading With Everything That’s Happening Right Now, I’d Like to Announce I’m Selling Diet Pills
