Letters Smuggled Out from the Front Lines of Amazon’s Never-Ending Holiday Sale

This piece was co-written with Erik Sternberger originally appeared on The Weekly Humorist here: Letters Smuggled Out from the Front Lines of Amazon's Never-Ending Holiday Sale My Darling Megan, I fear there is no end in sight to this year’s holiday season. The punch clock tells me it is the 26th of November, but I … Continue reading Letters Smuggled Out from the Front Lines of Amazon’s Never-Ending Holiday Sale

What to Watch for at Billy Beckham’s Long-Awaited Funeral Service

This piece originally appeared on The Weekly Humorist here: What to Watch for at Billy Beckham's Long-Awaited Funeral Service After seventy-two years of waiting, the funeral service of William C. (Billy) Beckham, the retired air conditioner repairman and Home Depot paint department attendant from Paragould, Arkansas is finally here, and it looks like it will … Continue reading What to Watch for at Billy Beckham’s Long-Awaited Funeral Service

All the New Reasons Why Members of the Press Can be Banned from the White House

This piece originally appeared on Robot Butt here: All the New Reasons Why Members of the Press Can be Banned from the White House Historically low approval ratings Using children’s insurance as a bargaining chip Using racism advantageously A cameo in Home Alone 2 Multiple bankruptcies Not draining the swamp at all Actually making the swamp … Continue reading All the New Reasons Why Members of the Press Can be Banned from the White House

The 15 Best Nicknames in NFL History That Were Inspired by Sylvia Plath

This piece originally appeared on Robot Butt here:The 15 Best Nicknames in NFL History That Were Inspired by Sylvia Plath Dan “The Bell Jar” Schonhoff – Wide receiver, New York Giants Barry “Rabbit’s Cry” Anderson – Middle linebacker, New England Patriots Frank “Puny, Green, and Tart” Szydlowski – Punter, Cleveland Browns Louis “Oval Soul-Animals” Cramer – Cornerback, Pittsburgh Steelers … Continue reading The 15 Best Nicknames in NFL History That Were Inspired by Sylvia Plath

In Memoriam: Those We’ve Lost to Make Paul Manafort’s Belongings

This piece originally appeared on Robot Butt here: In Memoriam: Those We've Lost to Make Paul Manafort's Belongings. Over the years, we have lost many great creatures to Paul Manafort’s desire for lavish clothing and other exotic belongings. Here, we remember those who are no longer with us: Tony (Python) – Jacket Al (Alligator) – Luggage … Continue reading In Memoriam: Those We’ve Lost to Make Paul Manafort’s Belongings

Let’s Make This Go Viral: A Man With Dementia Writes a Touching Letter to His Family

This piece originally appeared on Robot Butt here: Let's Make This Go Viral: A Man With Dementia Writes a Touching Letter to His Family As I sit here on my sofa near the end of a life that was full and good, reflecting, I can’t help but think of the twists and turns I have taken … Continue reading Let’s Make This Go Viral: A Man With Dementia Writes a Touching Letter to His Family