12 Country Songs Memorializing Made-Up Tragedies (How Pants Work)

This piece originally appeared on How Pants Work here: 12 Country Songs Memorializing Made-Up Tragedies

1. The Day the Corvettes Cried by Luke Bryan — the Bowling Green Massacre
2. Hergin Flergin in the Bergin by Kelly Pickler (feat. the Swedish Chef) — the Swedish Terror Attack
3. Burn It to the Ground by Toby Keith — the Existence of Chicago as a U.S. City
4. One Less Portland by Kenny Chesney — the Mysterious Disappearance of Portland, Maine
5. Bourne in Our Hearts by Martina McBride — Matt Damon’s Helicopter Crash, Multiple Surgeries, Coma, and Death
6. Suburban Ohio Sunset by Alan Jackson — the Akron Children’s Place Sniper
7. Hot Dog by Eddie Arnold — the Death of the Original Lassie by Lightning Strike
8. Franky Took Franky by Rascal Flatts — Franklin Graham’s Conversion to Catholicism
9. Never Fly Back Again by Pam Tillis — Jessica’s Bangs of 1998
10. Patriot Pants by John Conlee — the Death of Apollo Creed
11. Remember the Alamocha by Colin Ray — Davy Crockett’s Failed Coffee Shop
12. Blowhole by Big & Rich — the Seattle Suicide Bomber Inside the Great Seattle Sinkhole